Voices
The words we date by.
Modern love comes with its own dictionary. Whether you're decoding a text or describing your last situationship, here's the cheat sheet — actually up to date.
The stages
- Talking stage
- The early, undefined chatting phase — you're vibing, nothing's official, anything could happen.
- Situationship
- More than friends, less than a relationship. Real feelings, zero labels, lots of "so what are we?"
- DTR
- "Define The Relationship" — the conversation where you finally put a label on it.
- Exclusive
- You've agreed to date only each other, even if you're not calling it a relationship yet.
Showing it (or hiding it)
- Soft launch
- Hinting at a partner online without showing their face — a hand, a coffee, a shadow.
- Hard launch
- Officially posting your partner. It's real and you want everyone to know.
- Going Instagram official
- The classic hard launch — they're on your grid now.
The flags
Red — runBeige — huh?Green — keep
- Green flag
- A sign of a healthy, secure partner — communicates, respects boundaries, follows through.
- Red flag
- A genuine warning sign you shouldn't ignore.
- Beige flag
- A quirk that's neither good nor bad — just oddly specific. Mildly sus, mostly funny.
The disappearing acts
How much contact you actually get:
Ghosting
total silence
Orbiting
silent, still watching
Slow fade
less and less
Benching
kept on the bench
Breadcrumbing
crumbs to keep you hooked
- Ghosting
- Vanishing completely with no explanation. The conversation just... ends.
- Slow fade
- Replying slower and shorter until it quietly fizzles out — a cowardly ghost.
- Breadcrumbing
- Tossing just enough attention (a like, a "hey stranger") to keep you hooked, never more.
- Benching
- Keeping you on the sidelines as a backup while they explore other options.
- Orbiting
- They ghosted you — but still watch every story you post.
- Cushioning
- Lining up backup options while still in a relationship, in case it ends.
- Zombieing
- A ghost who rises from the dead, sliding back in like nothing happened.
The feelings
- Rizz
- Charisma — your ability to charm and flirt. "Unspoken rizz" is pulling someone without trying.
- The ick
- A sudden, irreversible turn-off triggered by something tiny they did. Game over.
- Love bombing
- Overwhelming affection and intensity early on — often a control tactic, not romance.
- Simp
- Someone who pours huge effort and attention into a person who isn't reciprocating.
- Delulu
- Delusional — wildly optimistic about a crush with little evidence. "Delulu is the solulu."
- Catch feelings
- To unexpectedly develop real emotions for someone you meant to keep casual.
The scene
- Cuffing season
- Colder months when everyone suddenly wants to be coupled up and cozy.
- Roster
- The handful of people someone's casually dating at the same time.
- Beige-flagging
- Posting such a generic dating profile that you give nothing to react to.
- Pocketing
- Dating you but hiding you from their friends, family, and feed.
- Wokefishing / catfishing
- Pretending to be someone (or something) you're not to attract a match.
The vocabulary changes every season — but the goal never does. Skip the games, say what you mean, and find someone worth being un-ironic with.